Healing Into 2023
2022 was a year when a LOT of change happened in my life, both good and (at the time) not-so-good. Big life-changing moments can be exciting; creating opportunities that didn’t exist before – but they can also be excruciatingly overwhelming and difficult. It’s important that we have some tools we can use to move through and process the overwhelming stuff healthily. So, here are some gentle reminders of the simpler things you can do for yourself that recently helped me get through this challenging time in my life.
Take a break. Even if it’s just for 30 minutes. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, overworked, or stressed – take a break. Go for a walk. Do some deep breathing. If you’re going through something that’s shifted your entire world, don’t feel guilty for taking some time off to process and heal. Nothing is more important than your well-being right now. The people you work with will understand. And if they get mad at you about it, you probably don’t want to work with them anyways.
Read lots. Read lots of healing books. Reads lots of fiction and get lost in another world. Read books by people you relate to. Read books by people with different perspectives from you. Reading is a powerful way to help process things.
Journal lots. While you’re reading. In the mornings. In the afternoons. Before bed. There’s something about writing down how you’re feeling that releases the emotion, even if it’s just temporary. When it comes back up, write it back down. Journalling has been one of the most important parts of my healing journey.
Move your body when you’re anxious. You might not feel like it, but push yourself to exercise. Go to a hot yoga class and sweat it out. Go to the gym. Walk around for a few hours. Whatever you like to do to move your body. I’ve found that a lot of my moments of clarity and deeper realizations have come to me while I’m on a long walk by myself. So…
Spend some time alone. Learn how to be with yourself. Being able to sit alone is a life skill everyone needs. If you’re someone who hates being alone, try to figure out why. Come up with a list of things you can do by yourself and keep it handy for when you feel lonely.
Prioritize sleep. I found that, for a few weeks, I could not fall asleep or stay asleep for the life of me. We can’t function or process emotions properly when we’re exhausted, everything becomes overwhelming. So, if you can fall asleep, let yourself sleep in. Take a nap if you need to. Say no to plans if you’re tired. This might sound boring and stupid but if you’re tired and can’t sleep just lay down and stay lying down – at least you can rest!
Maybe (or definitely) don’t drink alcohol! Even though drinking can temporarily numb out those anxious feelings, it might be more helpful to cut it out (or down) for now. Alcohol disrupts your sleep patterns, it also causes more anxiety and depression by throwing off the good chemicals in your brain and numbing out just delays healing through avoidance. You’re going to have to deal with this situation eventually, so you might as well do it now rather than months or years from now after it’s been living in your subconscious the entire time. You might feel more uncomfortable without alcohol in the short term, but you’ll become more capable of managing and processing your emotions in the long term.
Let yourself cry. I’m a really emotional person but I’m also the kind of person who, when I feel a good cry coming on, will just shove it down and take a bunch of deep breaths because I expect myself to be stronger than that. However, that’s another form of avoidance, so I’ve been learning to just let myself cry when the feeling comes up. It sucks when it’s happening, but afterward a sense of calm washes over me and then I can do the deep breathing thing and move on with my day. So, don’t be scared to have a cry, it’s good for your soul!
Move through your emotions. The whole ‘getting over it’ narrative needs to be retired. Some things you will never get over. Instead, focus on moving through it and accepting it for what it is. Radical acceptance is key to any life changes. It doesn’t mean you can’t work on making things better for yourself, but coming from a place of acceptance will make it so much easier to start the process.
Surround yourself with people who support you. Friends and family who love you are your heroes right now. They want to see you do better and thrive. They will lift you up and help you reach your goals. Surround yourself with them. And make sure you laugh a lot. Being around funny people is the best medicine.
Make things just because. Always, always make room to create for yourself. Express yourself in any way you can. When we’re going through big changes, creating anything is one of the best ways to let that anxious energy out in a healthy way. You could paint, draw, write, cook, sew something, build something, whatever it is you like to do. Make space for it. Do it often. Something I found helpful was setting up a spot in my home to create. It makes it easier to do the thing when you feel like it, and also when you don’t feel like it but you know it will be good for you.
Practice being gentle with yourself. Make sure you keep moving forward and remind yourself that everything is temporary. Keep your goals in mind, even if they feel impossible, and work on them little by little each day. Once you start feeling stronger you’ll see that everything is unfolding in a way that will open you up to a more expansive existence. Especially if you take the time to patiently heal and process what you just went through.
Take this energy with you into 2023. You’re moving forward with clarity and intention. You’re accepting and learning how to enjoy your journey. You recognize that you already have everything within you to create the life you’ve always wanted. You just have to trust yourself, and trust the process.
